Excellence, perfection, our evening last night at The Capital Grille in Stamford, CT was the best dining experience I ever had. It's hard to pinpoint one moment in time where each morsel of food or drop of wine was so superior that you could actually point to this time and place and declare such an encompassing, sweeping statement. It's true though...not even my wonderful Bombay Cafe in Alabama can compare to The Capital Grille.

From the minute we pulled up to the front of the restaurant and 4 gentlemen in red jackets opened our doors helping us out of the car, to the walk out of the restaurant where a bowl of tiny, sour balls wrapped in sparkley multi-colored foil papers gave us a chance to sample one last treat, the evening was one I won't forget.

The champagne we had at our table was comped by the restaurant in honor of two major celebrations we were all celebrating. The table had two cards from the staff wishing us a special day and special it was.

Starting with the plump, pink-tinged shrimp, sitting on a mound of ice with a hot sauce that needed nothing other than a shrimp dipped into it, to the delicate creme brulee, and out-of-the box cheesecake and everything in between, we were heading for a food coma for sure.

The scallops we had as an appetizer (we were sharing..no one could eat as much food as was served) were phenomenal and I don't even love scallops. The mac and cheese, hate to sound so plebeian, but I must say nothing compares to it in it's buttery, cheesy, crispy crumbly goodness, except maybe the outrageous scalloped potatoes. (I brought some home with me to dissect and evaulate in hope of finding out what the chef did to make this dish so amazing.)

The chef, Richard Delgado is a master chef, iron chef and my personal celebrity chef because he was responsible for the incredible edibles we were served. Not only is he a super chef, he is super kind as he stopped by our table to wish us a good evening and allowed me the opportunity to thank him for making the best food I'd ever eaten.

Our personal servers, our captain who I didn't get his name unfortunately, made this evening one I can't say enough about as you can tell. The chopped salad, you must have this delicacy as it was such a cold crisp counterpoint to the warm, cheesy mac and cheese and scalloped potatoes; the asparagus were tender but with a crunch and the bread basket looked more like a art sculpture with soaring pieces of flat bread mixed in with small, crispy rolls.

Maybe you realize it by now, but I haven't even mentioned the filets we all had. They must have been taken from happy cows as I never had beef this good before. No need to order your steaks a step up in the rare to well ladder as you often have to do in steak houses just to get the amount of doneness you want. I said medium and got medium.

Thank you Richard Delgado for such a wonderful meal and thank you to everyone from the valet to the dish removers for your attention to detail and the TLC you gave us last night. If I could I'd be back tonight. One thing is for sure, I will be back!

What on earth is going on with HPV and Colposcopies? Someone has lost their marbles in my estimation. Every single woman of child bearing age that I know who is sexually active and has had a pap smear gets the dreaded phone call.

Mrs. Brown? I'm sorry but your pap test came back showing cells and lesions I can't rule out from being precancerous, you have to come in and have a small procedure where we take a tissue sample or biopsy. It's no problem for the patient.

If everyone has a problem with their cervix, then no one has a problem. Just like when everyone is sick, no one is sick. So perhaps HPV or displasia that's so everywhere now I don't have a friend or relative that hasn't been told to have this procedure, well just maybe whatever is on the cervix will just go away or hang around and do no harm.

I could just see men having pieces of their penis removed constantly. Men also can harbor HPV but they're allowed to have it in peace.

Rebel, and don't be scared when they say you have precancerous cells. Of the two choices, wouldn't you rather have precancerous cells rather than cancerous cells? And, let's not forget every single one of us is predead too.

Some one needs to find out who is profting from this test and we'll find out why no woman is safe going to her obgyn anymore.

Should Michael Vick once again be paid millions and millions of dollars and treated as a superstar, after murdering, maiming and making money off of dog fighting? If you've forgotten the sordid details to Vick's disgusting sadistic dog fighting ring, go back and reread how he treated his dogs. I can't bear to type out the details.

If you're repulsed by his actions, then tell the Philadelphia Eagles and their sponsors. If you watch one of their games, wear a t-shirt or put a bumper sticker on your car you are condoning the act of dog fighting, dog mutilation, dog torture and rewarding the true beast in the situation Michael Vick, man born without a heart or a soul.

Shame on the Eagles, one of my favorite teams, and now one I will refuse to watch. If I walk in a bar and the Eagles are on TV I will ask them to change the channel and explain why, if they won't I will walk out. If I walk into a friend's house, same thing. I won't tolerate the flutter of an Eagle wing around me and I'm calling for a complete and total boycott of all things that relate to the Philadelphia Eagles until they come to their senses and realize animal lovers don't forget people who torture animals. They never forget.

Eagles advertisers - let them know how you feel!

On the subject of health care, did you ever notice that people who have insurance are strongly against reform, but those of us, like me, who don't have health insurance think that maybe there should be some reasonable way to insure all people, even me.

How many times has the president said in reference to health insurance; if you like what you have great -- keep it. Why are people so afraid of me getting some insurance?

Reform is for us poor souls who have zero insurance and every single day of the week we risk major health problems because we can't get help with little problems.

Husband and I have both worked - husband especially...worked his butt off, put himself through school with no parental help. Would be working today if anyone cared about the air quality.

In no way do I not deserve insurance...so please, let's stop being a third world country and live up to our potential here in America. Insure all of us, even me.

Thank you and good night.

First I must release this statement, in response to recent news articles and ca ca do do journalism that insist Crocs are dead: That's a crock!

I still wear my Crocs; I love my Crocs; I shall not give up my Crocs, and I still am cool, very cool. In fact Crocs are cool, your feet never get hot and sweaty like they do in sneakers. Whoever decided to kneecap Crocs must have a hidden agenda. Crocs are good for what they are; lightweight, inexpensive, waterproof, colorful shoes. Long live Crocs!

Next up: Watermelon.

Watermelon farmers must go back to growing watermelons with shiny black seeds. Enough with these pale pink so called "seedless" watermelons that taste like nothing but water.

And they do have seeds, little flabby white seeds as opposed to the wonderfully spitable black seeds that could fly out of your mouth with ease.

These flabby white seeds stick to your chin or hide between two teeth. Kids still pick them out even though they are disguised to look like the same color as the watermelon is: off white.

Watermelons should have red flesh with a green rind and godddamn black seeds. Then they taste good.

Ok I feel better now.

omigod! jesus h. christ! I think I might have found religion!!!!!

I realized that every night before I go to bed I say: Dear god would you please keep Sarah Palin and Michael Jackson off the news...I really can't take it anymore.

And...dum dum de dum, dum dum de dum.

Doc and Dejay are officially married and it was a beautiful wedding. I got to meet relatives of the grooms I'd never met and enjoyed everything about the wedding.

I especially loved the flowing champagne ;-)

The reverend Sara did a find job of marrying these two long-time-together men and making them into husbands. I had fun making the favors and doing the floral arrangements too. Most of all it was so nice to see two people I love very much just become normal everyday folks who live and love in the state of Ct without prejudice and with equality. Bravo Connecticut!!!

Typos and Family Vocabulary

I love typos.

Through the years, as email has become the preferred way to contact people, I've been subject to, and propagated, more typos than I'd ever seen in the pre-email era. There was a pre-email era, right? (And if so it should be spelled premail.)

The quick and casual responses we all give to email usually spawn typos and some of them are unforgettable to me.

Goof Friday. For years now we've had a standing date at Doc and Deejay's house for prime rib on the Friday before Easter. One year as we firmed up our plans for dinner I typed: see you Goof Friday, and that was it -- a new holiday was born.

One of my all time favorite typos is lesbina. Love the sound of that word. Lesbina, as you might have guessed, is a typo for lesbian.

Apparently Doc has a great deal of trouble typing out the word lesbian and half the time it comes out "lesbina" so he started to prefer the word as in: gays and lesbinas are entitled to equal rights.

Lesbian...I don't know...not as euphonic as I'd like a word to be...sounds German.

But lesbina...it's a lovely word. It sounds Italian, sophisticated and better suits my dear lesbina friends. What do you think?

Another wonderful typo was when a friend wrote to me that her daughter had given up beast feeding. Oh I was so happy to hear that. I don't like beasts and don't think it's necessary for us to feed them at all.

Now Goof Friday, beast feeding and lesbina are all part of our family vocabulary and I include friends in the word family.

If you have any typo stories or odd family vocabulary stories I'd like to hear them.